We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
