i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize