Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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