So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
