But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
