I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
