Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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