Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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