She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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