You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
