I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
