i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
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