I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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