would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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