How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize