I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
