I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
