I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
