No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
