Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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