it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
