I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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