I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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