i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
