the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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