Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
