I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
