no, he came in my armpit
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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