just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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