There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize