Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
