apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
