but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Come share oat with me in your robe
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
