There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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