I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
