he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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