I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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