these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
