I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
