They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
