i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize