nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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