I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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