Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
