I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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