Define "chronic" masturbator.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
