And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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