I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
