my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
