Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
