i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
