i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
