On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Randomize