I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
