There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
i think we sleep fucked last night...
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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