your thong is hanging out like whoa
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
