So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
my poor anus
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
