So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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