I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
MIDGETS
????
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
