My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
