my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
